Who Let The Dogs Out? Me.

Strange to say, but now that following all the lies and contradictions of President Donald Trump has become nearly a full-time job for me, some people are wondering just how I get the time to do it.

(In truth, that is a lie. It’s not even close to a full-time job, certainly not a paying job, and nobody I know has asked me how I do it. I’ve just been listening to The Donald too much, and its starting to rub off.)

But, it’s still a good question. How can I, or any normal human being, keep up with his flow of lies, exaggerations, distortions, misleading comments and off-the-point answers and still have a normal life?  Well, let me tell you how I did it the other day. Actually, I do the same thing almost every day.

I start at dawn, when my very special alarm clock goes off. It doesn’t ring. It doesn’t vibrate. It doesn’t shine beams of light to wake me.

No, my alarm clock barks. And jumps on the bed. And licks my face, and jumps some more, and then starts pushing me off the bed. Gently, of course. My two puppies are really polite, but they are also very energetic. And, each of them weigh about 65 pounds. Standard poodles. Working together - which they do very well - they make it hard to ignore them.

So, I put on a robe and go downstairs and let them out. Then, because they have been watching, the cats come out to be fed. Just as soon as the dogs are out the door. They are indoor cats, and they get fed in the living room, behind a gate the dogs never jump over.  Why? It’s the same mystery of why my dogs, and lots of others, don’t ever go down the basement stairs.

But, I’m getting off point. Feed the dogs, feed the cats, let the dogs out again, let the cats out on the porch (it’s screened so they can’t get out). Let the dogs in. Let the cats  in. The whole process takes about a half hour.

 And, here’s the secret. I have time to make a cup of coffee and to go onto the computer and read newspapers. And it never takes a half hour. It takes an hour or more. Because there is so much good stuff to read.

Newspapers really are a window on the world. I certainly respect the New York TImes and the Washington Post and the LA Times. For variety, I will look a couple of times a week at other papers, the Boston Globe or the Chicago Tribune or just any newspaper in any state where some politician has made the news - just what does Kansas or Arkansas think of their senator or their congressman or their governor. You can tell a lot by how a story is written or an editorial is phrased. Or even what those papers choose to ignore.

And while I’m drinking my coffee and looking at the newspapers on line, the TV is on, usually MSNBC or Fox News. And there’s always a couple of minutes to go out and pick up my copy of the New York Times from the driveway. It usually takes me a couple of days to go through the whole paper because of all those small, really interesting and - oddly - sometimes important items that rarely see the light of day in the 24 hour broadcast news cycle.

Did anyone else read the piece on the proxy battle between the Pope and the Knights of Malta? Or how many pro golfers seem to be lining up to play a round with President Trump. (Yes, the same man who complained that President Obama played too much golf.)

For people who might think all this reading and listening is a little obsessive - I really do enjoy it. That’s what retired people should do. Things they enjoy. And let me suggest one pretty good touchstone to the nation’s news if you are looking for something to read - USA Today.

Now I know that a lot of people don’t give much thought to USA Today, because they remember it as that paper where the stories were never more than 300 words long and because its format was one story for every state, no matter how little was going on that day. It’s hard to get excited about a study of elementary schools in a state where you don’t know anyone with kids.

And, of course, getting it free every time you stopped at a motel didn’t really boost its reputation for quality.

But, its a different paper today. Stories are longer, and well-reported. A lot of its stories get the space they need, many of the enterprise reporters clearly were given the time needed to do things right, and it still has the kind of national grass-roots scope you don’t always get from our big national papers.

Besides, you get good stuff like this.

A recent story by David Jackson noted that “The White House also deploys anonymity from time to time. Less that two hours before Trump criticized the use of anonymous sources and said all sources should be named, an administration official provided a briefing on the condition he not be identified.”

You could also find this re-tweet from our president. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack  Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud. 4:23 PM - 6 Aug 2012.”

Now I have to stop. The dogs want to be let out again.