The new tax plan - a sneak peek

It’s coming. It’s coming on Wednesday. And I know that it will be big, really big.

That’s because - through several special secret sources and one really big secret sauce - I have found out the gist, the heart, the beating substance of President Donald Trump’s carefully prepared and still secret tax plan.

And, unlike him, I am willing to share it. Right now.

Let’s cut taxes. Let’s cut taxes for everybody, and - since the richer you are, the more taxes you pay - let’s give rich people the biggest tax cuts. It’s only fair.

Did you expect more?

Well, The Donald did say that his tax plan would actually be a map, a guidepost, an outline. That’s the advantage of running things. You paint the big picture, and all the little people who work for you provide the mundane details.

What, you say? What about the impact on our deficit? Well, there will be none. Lowering taxes big time will kick our economy into high gear, really high gear. Certainly bigger than the hundreds of thousands of jobs created each month by that last president. You know, O-something.

Now there are lots of details in the current tax code. But, really, who needs them? When was the last time any of the people who voted for Trump had to sweat out the detail of carried adjusted gross income? Heck, we’ll even get rid of the alternate minimum tax. Why fill out a tax form when you have already filled out a tax form.

Simplify, cut. And then cut some more, and just watch the nation’s revenue rise. And, if we don’t generate enough money to pay our bills through growth, then we can just slap a big tax on imports. Just think, corporations won’t have to raise the pay of their workers. Big department stores will come back as private shopping clubs - and without all those tacky departments for the hoi polloi. Just think, all those racks of clothing replaced by just a few gold ones, all carrying samples of the Ivanka brand.

Yes, as soon as those obedient Republicans in the House of Representatives get back from vacation and fill out a new tax code - and let us note they will get no help from Hillary-loving Democrats - then all our nation’s financial worries will be over.

And, think, in the unlikely event there actually is a federal deficit because of some unforseen emergency, then we can always increase the Border Adjustment Tax. 

I can hear it now. Who will pay for the deficit? Mexico!