As President Trump pointed out to the nation, not all the people marching in Charlottesville were neo-Nazis or members of the KKK. There were also many fine people, he said, who were simply worried about the loss of those beautiful statues of Confederate generals and the loss of their heritage and history.
It got me thinking. Some really deep thoughts.
Of course, the history of our nation is not a simple story. It is inspiring, it is remarkable and it is full of contradictions. Good people do bad things. Bad policies end up doing good things.
And you can’t base your opinions on just an elementary school textbook or some educational video. I’m not the only one who has pointed out that the fine Schoolhouse Rock video on “How a bill becomes a law” doesn’t tell anyone about Mitch McConnell or how the legislative process can get derailed by partisan politics.
But, before we go looking for those fine people in Charlottesville - worried historians all - and a possible solution to their problem, let me add a disclaimer or two.
First, our Southern colonies had quite a lot to do with the formation of the United States of America as we know it today. Virginia isn’t known as the Home of Presidents for nothing - more of them came from Virginia than any other state.
Southerners have done more than their share in taking up arms to defend our country, and when the Civil War was breaking out, the North first looked to Robert E. Lee - who had an outstanding career in the United States Army - to put down the rebellion.
We won’t bother mentioning that slavery was written into the Constitution, any more than mentioning that racism has been a problem in the United States since our nation was founded, and that is still the biggest problem our nation faces.
I don’t think you can have a country that thinks equality for some is a guarantee of a good life for all, and I don’t think that we can brag about equal opportunity - or complain that people are not working hard - unless we all have the same chance at a good education and good health care.
This isn’t really an off-topic observation. After all, the heritage that those good people in the park - whose message was lost in the rioting - was that the South was built on slavery and we should be allowed to remember it. The beauty of the lost cause. The glorious fight. Things like that.
Well, things were beautiful on a lot of plantations. Just look at Gone with the WInd if you doubt it. Silver was always polished, the grounds were immaculately maintained. And there was always a slave or two around to cook and clean and help the plantation owners to get dressed in the morning.
Ah, but how do we celebrate that heritage? A statue of Robert E. Lee on a horse just doesn’t do it.
Well, some places do a better job than others of telling that story. But, to really get the understanding of that part of our Southern heritage, I feel the only thing to do is open a real Slave Market.
Now, with modern sensibilities, we can’t auction off slaves of only one race. In fact, I don’t think anyone should be forced into slavery, at least not for long. Maybe a month or two.
And, here’s just the way it should be done. First, every other month, a call would go out to all the people who are concerned about preserving the beauty of their Southern heritage, asking for volunteers.
Of the thousands of people who will no doubt volunteer, a lottery would be held and a dozen or two would be selected to go on the auction block. Men, women, children - it wouldn’t matter. Families might be auctioned off together or split apart, depending on demand.
Now, to keep things fair, all the property of the volunteers would go into an escrow account overseen by a state-appointed grand master, with the power to buy or sell or invest as they see fit. Local government is probably the best way to make that appointment.
So, what happens next? Well, we auction off the volunteers. The winning bids would go to the state, into a special fund. Half the money would go to historic renovation projects, and half would go to reducing taxes. We’ll take ten percent off the top to cover overhead.
When you buy a slave, they would of course be shackled. You would have to sign a contract promising to feed and dress your slave and to give them a place to sleep indoors.
How they would be treated after that would be up to the winning bidder. After 60 days, the slave would be freed, and since the slave was not a person while they were in involuntary service, no civil or criminal charges could be pressed against their master or mistress.
Our heritage, again.
But, on the bright side for the two-month slaves, when it is all over they would have the opportunity to talk about their experiences at local schools and libraries, and reflect on the subtle differences in Southern culture from a personal level not seen in our nation for more than a century.
We can always keep our parks beautiful by bringing back chain gangs.
No comments :
Post a Comment