A Normal Day

It took me a long time to realize it.

I have been watching the President and I listening to him for more than three years, just like everybody else. And, yet I missed it.

I missed the forest for the trees. That’s amazingly easy to do.

Donald Trump has never had a normal day.

It’s worth repeating. Donald Trump has never had a normal day.

How do I know? Well, I am sure that sometime in his youth he got up, ate breakfast, went out and played. Listened to his father. Listened to the radio. Had dinner.

But I am talking about Donald Trump the adult. The President. The one who came down the escalator in Trump Tower and said we were all in trouble and that he was the only one who could fix things.

He’s never done anything incremental. Add three per-cent to a budget, send federal aid to a disaster area, even appoint people to his cabinet. He always picks from the best people, the smartest people. The ones who have everyone’s respect - even if you never heard of them.

He sends a hospital ship to New York to help deal with an overwhelming epidemic, and it is not put into use right away. Hundreds of beds, and only a handful of patients.

Were arrangements made ahead of time to bring it in? Did local officials coordinate with the Navy, which was concerned about contamination on their ship which could turn into a huge problem?

It’s a problem, of course, since he knows more than anyone he appoints. “I have the greatest brain,” he says. “I’m smarter than the generals.” Smarter than doctors, too, since he gives out medical advice.

But, he can’t do everything. Got to have time to tweet and play golf.

So, if things don’t work out, then of course it is someone else’s fault. Someone he appointed? Then they are a rat, a traitor, the worst betrayal ever.

Couldn’t he ever just do something normal. After all, not everything is the best - that’s the argument dedicated football fans make before the season starts. Hey, everyone has the same chance to win.

And, to be honest the score of every game starts at 0 - 0.

Now if this sounds like an exaggeration - since we are talking about Trump it would be the worst exaggeration in the world - let me give you a couple of examples.

- The cake. That famous chocolate cake he gave to China’s President, Xi Jinping, which was so good - he said he never tased one so good -  that it cemented their relationship and the relationship between our two countries. That was back in 2017. It probably would have lasted if Trump himself had baked it, but you get busy running the free world.

- The deal. The worst deal ever. The North American Free Trade Agreement, if you remember it. Trump made its a lot better - he changed the name.

• Our military. Trump says he has invested $2.5 trillion dollars in new equipment to make the U.S. armed forces the best-equipped in the world. Not quite. The entire defense department budget this year is $738 billion, and it’s the biggest ever. And only about a quarter of that is for new equipment, a lot of which is the same as the worn-out equipment it will replace. Things wear out in the Army and the Navy, something he learned in military school, no doubt.

Anyway, that’s enough to make my point. Donald Trump has never had a single normal-sized thing happen since he has been in the White House. Everything he does, everyone he meets, every plan he proposes or rejects is always the best or the worst.

I don’t know how he does it. 

It would drive me crazy if I had to get up in the morning and take the best milk ever sold and pour it into the best cup of coffee I ever drank, then took a couple of the best pills medicine can create which were prescribed for me by the best doctor ever to deal with a problem with my….no, I have no problems. I am in the best of health ever. My personal doctor told me that, don’t you remember.

My medical records? I won’t show them to you. It would only make you jealous.

Want to make an issue of it? It’s your fault. Stop being nasty. I call that Fake News.

Which, of course, brings me to the upcoming election. I suspect that if he loses the election, it will probably be someone else’s fault. The voters, surely. But who will get the real blame?

Mitch McConnell and the Republican Party - at least the few people left in the GOP who are not true Trump loyalists.

I think our President will look at the political landscape and realize that the best thing to do is simply pull out of disloyal, creaky, old and mostly white Republican Party and start his own political party - the Trump Party has a nice ring to it.

Then he will just wait for his wealthy supporters to fund the new Trump Party, maybe take a seat on the board of directors. They won’t have to do much - he will lay it all out for them.

Besides, the Trump Network will already be starting up, and all the loyal advertisers will leave Fox News. My Pillow, just wait for the sales to start going through the roof.

As for the wreckage that is left, well it has to be someone else’s fault, and someone else will have to clean it up.

While there is no clear candidate, we know that if Trump loses, Mike Pence won’t be doing anything.

A