What If Trump Wins?

Some people I know are a little worried that Donald Trump will be re-elected in November.

Now, I don’t think it will happen. I can give you a lot of reasons why. But, nothing is certain in politics. So, just for fun, let’s explore some of the things that are likely to happen if he is returned to the White House by the voters on Election Day.

I am sure that some big changes will happen, and some little ones too.  Some people will find that life will get easier for them - fame or fortune or both will come their way - and more will find life getting harder.

There will be outrage on the part of a lot of people, and mocking laughter on the part of others. Over and over again, until we all get tired of it.

And, in the end, there will be the death of one of America’s major political parties. RIP - GOP. I’ll give you the reason later.

But, first things first. What will a Trump victory bring? Some of my predictions might seem like I’m giving the President some advice. But, a lowly blogger like me would’t dare assume that.

For starters, the White House will become a catering hall.  You know, that building in Washington where there was a fireworks show and people on the lawn saw it end with the word TRUMP emblazoned in bright red letters.

Well, if you can hold a rally for your supporters on the lawn, why can’t you hold a victory party for your supporters inside. Not the 1,500 people who were crammed into a small space on the lawn, but to the supporters who paid big bucks for the honor of being a Trump insider - a man or woman of influence.

Now nothing lasts forever, and Trump has no gratitude, but a donor today is a financial backer tomorrow. Throwing a big party for wealthy donors is a pretty good investment. Besides, you could have a shell company cater the whole thing, and pay the expenses to yourself - washed properly through one or two different corporations, of course. Bill Barr could tell you how to do it.

The next thing to happen will be a housecleaning. Not the White House, that other house. The one under the Capitol Dome.

For Donald Trump, no victory will be enough. No matter how many Republicans get re-elected, there should have been more. You can’t blame the lazy Socialist Democrats - after all, if the election was a fraud, your getting re-elected might be seen as a fraud - so you have to blame Republicans for not working harder.

It might take more than a few tweets to get rid of the Republicans you blame, but some will come back and worship you - Little Marco Rubio comes to mind. He is, after all, a Senator from Florida, which is your home state, and which didn’t give you a big enough margin.

Your daughter is too young to put into the Senate seat to replace him, but there are some attractive candidates you might decide to favor.

Well, that’s the small stuff. Let’s look at the bigger picture.

Our nation is in a terrible crisis. In several, actually. As the death toll continues to mount, it may be hard to find workers for a lot of industries. Well, a change of policy is needed.

You could direct every woman to have four or five children, but that would take too long. Child labor doesn’t work too well in a lot of 21st century jobs.

So, you will have to open the borders and allow foreigners to come it. Besides, you could turn the job of finishing that border wall to Mexico. After all, they’re the ones paying for it. And, you could close all those customs posts on our side of the border. They could do that, too.

The virus will just go away by itself. Maybe in winter it will be too cold to spread around. After all, everything ends sometime.

But, there is one nasty problem you will have to deal with. Some of those old conservative Republicans, and certainly all of those treacherous Democrat legislators, will have noticed it. Our nation is in debt. Big debt. And growing every year.

So, you will have to cut spending or raise taxes. Or, cut some spending, and raise taxes on some people.

Well, you have already suspended the Payroll Tax and promised to make that a permanent if you were re-elected. So, that means big cuts already have to be made in Social Security, since those payroll taxes bring in the money that goes out to seniors every month.

But that’s OK. Some of your advisors believe that taking money from workers to pay old people who decide not to keep working is just a Socialist plot anyway.

So, you can end Social Security. Privatize the whole thing. Might be a lot of people that would offer you a good deal to take it over, and your are nothing if not a deal maker.

Now you might have some problems in the Middle East. That peace agreement you took credit for might run into some problems. So you have to find someone to take over that deal. I have several suggestions, which I won’t make here. They are just too obvious.

There is one way to handle the problem of less money coming in and more money going out. It’s called inflation. Just print more money. You are the President, and you can just order it. It’s right there in the secret powers you have in the Constitution.

Now inflation is a sure winner for some people. You have a fixed mortgage, for example, you can pay it off with cheaper dollars. You have a gas station, you just up the price at the pump. Money markets have opportunities galore.

And the value of fixed assets goes way up. Hotels, golf courses, more golf courses. The list could be endless. It might cost more to build a Trump Tower in Moscow, but the cash value of those licenses that your daughter got from China should go up by more than enough to cover that expense.

For the people working for a living, it won’t be so good. Any pay raise they get probably won’t keep up with inflation. It never does. But, they didn’t vote for you anyway. They probably deserve it.

Now you may have some problems with inflation on the higher end, particularly in those suburbs you needed so badly. Towns and counties can’t really run at a deficit. Their budgets have to balance, within reason.

So, with costs going up, services that people notice will have to go down. It will be even worse for schools. That could turn into a real drag. And, the people who live in million dollar houses who voted for you - not unusual in a lot of wealthy suburbs - will find their tax increase a lot steeper than people who live in a house selling for $250,000.

And they might not get away with telling their local tax assessor their house with a $700,00 mortgage is really worth only $350,000. State officials might catch on.

Well, you can probably live with those problems for a couple of years. There are more than enough ambitious people willing to work for you who you could blame. Just ask your new Attorney General, Rudy Giuliani, how to do it.

But, after two years there will be another election. And, typically, the party in power loses seats in Congress. You could be facing a Democrat House and a Democrat Senate. Heck, they might even insist you call it a Democratic House and Senate.

Not only that, the Republicans who are still in office in two years will start thinking about who the next president will be. There aren’t enough states to ratify a change to the Constitution to give you another term, you know.

Now those new candidates might want to change the direction of the Republican Party, which could be a problem. But, it became a certainty when the party decided not to adopt a platform this year. The old one will be eight years old when the next election comes around, and things will be different.

More problems to blame on you, since you ran the country for eight years. Different voters, too. More black and brown, fewer whites. It has something to do with the nation’s birth rate, and your plan to allow unlimited immigration from Scandinavia didn’t work too well.

Now, whatever happens, the new party leadership will have to decide on what they want to do when they get elected. Since all the Republicans in Congress say their goal is to support you - all the Republican governors, too - they will probably fight over a new direction.

And that could lead to chaos. Maybe even tear the party apart. After all, what is important in the Midwest might not be important in the South or places like Wisconsin.

So, what to do? No party structure. No clear leadership. No shared values. Fewer voters, changing demographics, and maybe even different election districts where you will have problems getting local people re-elected.

 Well, time for just one final suggestion. Before you get rid of the Attorney General, have him research one question for you. I know it’s audacious, but that never stopped a man of your wisdom and courage before.

Can a sitting President pardon himself? After all, Hillary might have done it. But, I don’t think she will return your call and tell you how.